Case in point: skinny jeans. While I love the look of them, skinny jeans never quite fit me. They’re always either too tight in the calves or too big in the hips. But for some reason, I never let this deter me from trying them on, in hopes that I’ll find that ever-elusive perfect pair.
Over the weekend, during my weekly TJ Maxx therapy session, I grabbed not one but THREE pair of skinny jeans. After an 8-mile run Sunday morning I thought maybe my luck had changed. Not so. The first pair I tried on stuck to me like cat hair on black velvet. From the moment I started, I knew I was in trouble. Just getting them around my knob of a heel was a challenge. But for some reason, I continued to wiggle into them, nearly falling over in the process.
I stopped after one leg and decided it was a loss. But here came the tricky part: how to get the sucker off (it was literally sucking at my leg like a denim leech). For a moment, I worried I would have to dig out the pocketknife I keep in my purse (for moments of Girl Scout-like heroism) and use the scissors to cut myself free. Thankfully, my friend Carolina was in the neighboring dressing room. Hearing me struggle, she came to my rescue, nearly falling to the floor herself as she yanked the pant leg over my foot. I left the other two pair of skinny jeans on their hangers and despondently gave them back to the dressing room attendant. Eventually, they’ll find their home with a girl who knows her place in the world of jeans.
In case you can’t tell, none of this was graceful. But then again, I never said I was graceful.
In the meantime, I’m sticking with bootcut jeans until I regain my dignity. Or who knows, maybe I should switch to these.