Face First

I’ve fallen face first into December. It’s here. And my credit card knows it.

I should get a thank you note from Amazon. Seriously.

(Did you know Amazon has a line called Amazon Fresh? They deliver groceries to some Seattle neighborhoods. It kind of makes me wish I lived in Seattle. I can think of nothing better than to come home after work to find a box full of produce on my door step. I could really go for a grapefruit right now. A ridiculously over-priced, hand-delivered grapefruit. I guess laziness comes with a price I’d be willing to pay.)

Meanwhile, I’ve been kind of absent lately, what with 12+ hour drives back and forth to Alabama with a quick one-day hop up to Nashville in the middle. I also haven’t felt too update-worthy. My dinners lately have consisted of frozen burritos, skinny cow ice cream sandwiches and microwavable rice.

Here’s one exciting update, though. I have a new nephew! His name is Connor, and I can’t wait to meet him and spoil him with Amazon orders.

Anyway, I really and truly haven’t forgotten about you. I promise. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Last night I dreamed that I was in outer space and there were all these amazing stars and planets and constellations that I’m pretty sure I made up. (A star shaped like a pretzel perhaps?) And the part I was most excited about—even in my dream? Blogging about it when I got back to Earth. How cool am I, right?

Maybe the meaning of the dream is two-fold. First, I think it means I’ve missed blogging the last few days and feel pretty guilty about my abandonment. Second, I’m pretty sure it means I can return to reality now. Even if just for a minute before the daily crazy sinks back in.


Being a “blogger” changes you. Last night, I dreamt that one of my posts got published in some magazine. I woke up happy.

I can’t cook a meal without taking photos of it. A good conversation with a friend is likely to wind up on the internet. The mundane can suddenly become interesting. Photos of your pets become global phenomena… well, maybe not… but one can dream.

Come on. Fish Taco SHOULD BE a global phenomenon. Look at him.

He turned Patrick’s cold, cat-hating heart into…



I don’t ever have the “falling dream,” and I’ve never dreamed that I’m naked in front of my classmates. Instead, I frequently dream that I’m trying to get somewhere but can’t. I’m running through the halls of my middle school and there is obstacle after obstacle keeping me from getting to class. Or I’m on some windy road trying to navigate to a place without directions. Or I’m the lead in the play, but I’m stuck backstage. It doesn’t matter what the situation is. I always feel a swell of panic during these dreams. I always wish I could lift my body off the ground and fly to wherever it is I’m going.

Today has been one of those dreamlike days.

All day today I’ve been late to wherever I need to be. I’ve felt completely uncentered and unbalanced. I spent a half hour trying to find the box for my new cell phone (the Droid Incredible really is incredible, by the way) so that I could turn in the rebate, but the box was M.I.A. (Thank goodness for kindhearted Verizon call-takers who take pity on frazzled customers). I was late for my appointment to get my tires rotated because I underestimated how long it would take to get there. I was late for a run with my friend Dean because I was stuck trying to solve a problem with a spreadsheet. Late, late, late. It felt like I was The White Rabbit all day… only sans cool pocket watch.

I know in the grander scheme of things, these are all just miniscule problems, but sharing these experiences here makes them past tense. I can shelve my problems neatly on the pages of this blog, clearing my cluttered mind to make room for the new challenges I will face tomorrow (i.e. a 9-hour drive and a cooler full of brisket across three states – more on that later). Now, if only I could find my car keys…